The Choices We Make
by dib07
Summary: Damaged Goods Part 2. Yami Atem is settling into his new life despite the setbacks, and Yugi is guilty about holding back certain information. There is someone else in the shadows who has also noticed the pharaoh's activities, and their intentions are full of malice and revenge. The puzzle holds the key, but can it be figured out in time?
1. Prologue

**Dib07:** I can't believe it. I can't believe I am submitting this! Dear Ra. No one read this story. Please. But a bargain is a bargain **YamiYugiPuzzleshipper**. I can't believe you got the episode! And so as promised, here is the first chapter to Damaged Goods **part 2. **How do I get hooked into these things? XD

**Guest:** I had better reply to you here even though I don't want you reading this story either. But this place is the only place where I might be able to reply to you from Damaged Goods part 1. Yes the sequel is darker than oil. I doubt I'll be updating this story much anyways, so I shouldn't panic. But it is the darkest I have written out of ALL MY STORIES. Good guess with Yami's heart/chest trauma, but nope! It's not that episode! Sorry! You're gonna hafta try again! Don't read this story.

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**Warning: **

**For blood, guts, angst, character torture and Dan Green.**

**Contains spoilers for the Yugioh TV show/manga.**

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**Notes:**

**Please do not persuade me to ship characters, and please tolerate any shipping of any characters.**

**I write the characters as I envision them. Nothing more and nothing less.**

Some parts of this story have been co-written by a fellow writer. She is named FairyofThunder22 and can be found on Deviant art. Her parts won't come into play for a very long time, so for the moment you're stuck with me! I'll also be burrowing her OC character. Not to worry, it's all good news for you readers! I'll let you all into this OC when the time comes! ;)

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**The Choices we Make**

**xxxxx**

_'Hello darkness my old friend._

_I've come to talk with you again.'_

_Simon and Garfunkel - The Sounds of Silence_

**_xxxxx_**

Prologue

The first few nights out of the hospital passed in cold sweats and dark, lucid dreams of places intangible and cold.

Yami was inundated with debauched dreams and nightly sweats: most of it borne from anxiety. Yugi sat beside him with a book on his lap as the hours blurred by. Whenever the puzzle was near the King, the general malaise of his disquiet would altogether fade and he'd sleep easy. Yugi did not understand the logistics of the item, or its continued connection with the old spirit. Ishizu Ishtar wanted to come and meet Yami, but such an appointment had not yet been made.

And the new weight regime was a bit of a nightmare too. Yami struggled with the higher food intake. He had to eat a small meal every two hours, eight times a day. At times he outwardly refused all food even with Yugi or Grampa trying to tantalize him once they had resorted to feeding him themselves.

"Keep doing this ta him and you're gonna make him sick." Joey would say.

"This is what Dr. Hudson wants! And he's a cardiologist! He knows what he was doing when he told us to stick to this weight regime no matter what." Yugi had defended with little to back him up but faith. "Besides, once we get him out of this stress, he'll be better. And it's our fault besides. Before he got treated at the hospital, we weren't feeding him properly."

Then the anxiety began to settle and Yami's fluid nightmares eased off. The careful feedings continued, and Yugi sat by him, trying to get Yami to read a book on ancient spells like Ishizu had suggested, but his concentration was hazy.

**~ 3 weeks later ~**

Yugi sat down beside his darker half as the afternoon sun began to flee bruised skies that were heavy with snow. Around his neck shone the golden millennium puzzle. It caught the noon light radiantly and glinted.

Yugi's sick leave was finishing. He had taken a few weeks off college to look after his frailer counterpart, but the absence days were ending, and now Yami needed someone else to take care of him. Yugi didn't know how long this arrangement would last – it could be indefinite, or it could only be a year or so. But Yami wasn't getting better in a huge way – so Yugi needed someone reliable to take his place. He also knew that Anzu, Mai and even Kaiba were willing to play the part. Free of charge.

If not them, then an official babysitter was a must.

"So," Yugi began, trying to take charge of Yami's thin attention, "you didn't answer my question. Who do you want taking care of you? Mai, Anzu, or Seto Kaiba?"

Yami didn't meet his eyes. His silence was testing Yugi.

"Look, if you choose, then that person will come with you to medical exams as well. Would you rather prefer someone you know, than just any old babysitter? Come on, mou hitori no boku, these are your friends! Don't you... don't you prefer any of them?"

Yami leaned back in his chair. "I can't."

"Why can't you?" Yugi asked him tenderly.

"I cannot be a burden to any of them. My friends most of all. And Kaiba? Why would he even consider it? I don't think I could look him in the eye, let alone be looked after by him! It'd be an insult! To the both of us!"

"He wants to help you. Isn't that enough?"

Yami turned and set him with narrowed eyes. "Can't you see, Aibou? I don't want to showcase my weakness, least of all to Kaiba, or Anzu or to Mai! I was their leader once! Now look at me!"

"Yami, they love you! Don't you understand how worried they are...?"

Yami got up from the table, coughing deeply. "I'm done." He said, as if he could just terminate the entire conversation when he wished it.

Yugi remained at the table, and watched him slink away, back into the lounge where Joey and Anzu were waiting for him until all he could hear were his steady coughs.

**xxx**

Kaiba opened the car door for him. Yami scrambled out before he could be offered help. The billionaire watched the Game King for a moment as if he was viewing a rather tiresome child, then he signalled one of his cohorts to open the trunk of the limo. The boot lid was popped open and they were about to retrieve a black, chrome-fitted wheelchair.

Yami scrutinized it with sharp hate that exaggerated the shadows under his eyes and shook his head. Their wordless byplay continued.

Kaiba nodded and clicked his fingers. The wheelchair was folded back away into the darkness.

"Can you walk all the way there?" The CEO asked.

Yami turned on his heel and began heading to the building. His limp was so jagged that several times it looked like he was about to lisp into the cars closely parked on all sides.

"Jesus Mother of Mary." Kaiba growled, and was beside him in no time, one hand on Yami's back.

As they walked past a parked car, a woman raised her cell phone towards her closed window and snapped a shot of the two of them. In less than a second she had lowered her phone and was looking at the shot she had taken.

"That's him." She whispered, instantly recognising the wild hair and unusual eyes.

She watched the two of them walk slowly to the set of large clinic double doors until they were inside.

Her white, bony hand turned the key in the ignition and she reversed out of the parking lot.

She had a lot of preparation to do.

xxx

Yami sat with his arms obstinately crossed over his chest as he glowered beside the old rival he had been lumbered with. Kaiba seemed wholly engrossed in the newspaper he was reading. He had picked it up immediately upon arrival and hadn't put it down since. Yami knew he wasn't really reading it. Since when did Kaiba concern himself over such small print drivel? He knew Kaiba was trying to pass the time, without having to engage in the painful condition called 'conversation.'

Yami was here by orders. He couldn't believe it. He was Pharaoh – yet he had to follow orders? Preposterous! Yet no matter how he tried to sway his family, and get all grumpy, Kaiba turned up in a limo to pick him up and take him to his MRI and general check-up appointment. Yami sulked after that, hardly speaking a word, even during his frightful MRI experience that they had just come back from. Kaiba warned him that MRIs had such massive tunnels that the doctors tended to lose midgets in them.

Luckily Yami took what he said with a pinch of salt: not that he understood the phrase.

They had to inject him with dye prior to the MRI scanning and light sedation. And apparently this particular giant machine was safe for people with pacemakers. So Yami lay in a whirring, loud, dark tunnel for what must have been half an hour before coming out feeling deaf and disorientated. Luckily he wasn't that claustrophobic: the puzzle had taught him that. And restriction was also something he was used to.

"It's just to check to see if you still have a heart." Kaiba had told him after he had come out the scanning room. "Wouldn't want them to think you're completely cold-blooded."

With the MRI scan over after he had changed out of the thin hospital gown they had made him wear, they were driven to the clinic across town to receive further tests. Yami wasn't sure what this entailed, but sitting with Kaiba felt like torture. He eyed up all the magazines lying in messy piles on the table but he didn't know his Japanese well enough to consider them, so he sulked a little more.

Then, after what must have been close to fifteen minutes of concrete silence, Seto spoke most suddenly without looking up from the newspaper: "When the doctor calls, would you like me to participate?"

"How?" He growled.

"Hmph. No matter."

Yami looked away and stared angrily at his steel-toed boots.

Kaiba seemed to pick up on his distress. He nonchalantly turned a page in his newspaper. "I can help answer their questions. You're hopeless when it comes to medicines and their names. You're also hopeless with routine. And hopeless with modern day jargon. And hopeless remembering things. And hopeless doing the things the doctors ask you to do. Need I say more?"

Yami rolled his eyes. "What's in it for you, Kaiba?"

"It's my every intention to make you well so that we can duel again. Isn't that your goal also?"

"Yes. I suppose it is."

"Well then."

What's more, Kaiba carried the millennium puzzle in his left pocket. A corner of it stuck out, and its gold winked out at him every now and then whenever he jerked his gaze down to stare at it in something close to contempt. "Why are you carrying that?" He thought he knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it from the billionaire's own lips.

Seto rewarded his stubbornness with acknowledgement. His icy eyes met his as he struggled to comprehend Yami's random inquiry. He followed Yami's hard gaze down to the puzzle.

With a soft shrug, Kaiba turned back to his all-important newspaper. "Yugi asked me to."

"So, you're taking orders from him?"

"I did it to shut him up."

There was a shout coming from up the thin hallway. "Mr. Yami Motou?" A female nurse or doctor was looking at the patients sitting in the waiting room. Yami struggled ungainly to his feet. Kaiba was by his side, and slipped an arm through his before the gaunt pharaoh went spilling into the table holding the magazines.

They went into the medical room, the nurse closing the door behind them.

Kaiba helped Yami over to the examination table then lifted him so that he could sit on it.

"Good afternoon." The nurse said. "I am Dr. Winery."

Kaiba took a seat and resumed pretending to read his newspaper. Yami silently pleaded at him. Help me, Kaiba! Don't just sit there, reading! Do something!

"So," the doctor began, reaching for his file on the desk, "how have you been feeling?"

"Perfectly functional." Yami sneered, his eyes hot and blazing fury as if Dr. Winery had just kidnapped a member of his family and held a knife rather than a medical file in her hands.

"Uh huh." She said, surprised at his response and at his sudden defensiveness. "So, no chest pains? No shortness of breath?"

"He's lying." Kaiba spoke abruptly, again without lifting his eyes from the article he was reading. "He's just being difficult."

Yami opened his mouth to thrust up an argument when Dr. Winery turned to him. "Is this true? It's vitally important that you disclose all information to us all the time. I know this is a difficult time to get through, everyone goes through denial at some stage or other, but I'm sure your family wants the best for you, and you won't give them that if you aren't being honest."

Yami's hands had turned into fists, and they clenched on top of the sheets of the examination table.

"He has this cough too." Kaiba folded up the newspaper and rested it on the empty chair next to him. "It's getting more persistent. We want to know if his lungs are building up with fluid."

"All right. Well, I'll begin with a physical examination." She put the file down and came over to Yami's rigid frame. She picked up a tool that was long and slender. "Can you lean to your right please?" And she shoved a part of it inside his ear.

Kaiba watched, and when their eyes met, the billionaire shook his head at him.

She seemed to be looking into his ear. Yami tolerated it, as it wasn't that invasive. Next she checked out his other ear with the same device. After, she checked up his nose with a little light. Again he tolerated it.

"Open your mouth please and tilt your head back so I can have a look at your throat."

"Yes, yes."

Kaiba was still watching.

Yami felt a wave of embarrassment crush through him, and it blotted out all other thoughts. Heat rose into his white cheeks.

But he did as the doctor said to avoid looking difficult. However, he wasn't amused.

Once the doctor seemed satisfied, she drew away and pulled a drawer open in her desk. From it she retrieved a stethoscope. Yami paled again at the all too familiar sight of it.

"Has the cough been increasing recently?" She asked.

"Yes." Kaiba said without missing a beat.

"Is it worse at night?"

"Yes."

Dr. Winery advised her patient to remove his top, and this is where things started to get testy.

"I am fine." The pharaoh stated coldly, his arms petulantly folded.

Dr. Winery tried to show him her best I'm-not-going-to-hurt-you smile. "I'm only going to have a listen to your heart and lungs, and then I'll have a feel of your throat. It's just a preliminary examination to make sure all is well because the MRI results are going to take some time to arrive."

"Try weighing him first." Kaiba helpfully interjected from his chair. "Give him some time to cool off that ugly temper of his."

Yami looked away, disgusted.

"Well, he is very thin! We had better weigh you." Dr. Winery gently took his hand and guided him to the scales that were by the thin, white bed.

Yami huffed out a sigh. He was so tired of everyone commenting on his weight.

He stood on the weighing scales hoping this would be the last thing to do before going home.

The needles on the scale flew up to thirty kilograms which was less than five stone. Next she weight taped him by tightening a measuring tape around his slim middle. The results were twenty one inches all the way round, which was the same as 53.5 centimetres. She wasn't all that happy. "I can put one hand on either side of your waist," she said, "and touch my hand on the other side. That's not healthy. Are you following the weight programme Dr. Hudson gave you?"

"By the letter." Kaiba answered in soft rebuke, raising his eyes to meet hers. "And we're giving him eight meals a day, every two hours. He's put on nearly two kilograms since he left the hospital. He's doing well."

She seemed humbled by his quick reaction, so she nodded and allowed Yami to leave the scales.

"Any fever at all? Any lightheaded spells?" She asked him.

"No, none." Yami said, thinking that he was answering honestly. He hadn't felt hot, or dizzy lately.

"Is the cough worse when lying on one side?"

"I am unsure."

"And any chest pain? You must tell me, hun."

Yami shook his head. Kaiba was watching him closely to seek out the lie, but this time he couldn't tell. "None."

"Well," she picked up the old stethoscope again, "if you'd just remove your top, this'll be the last thing on my list, and then you can go home!"

"Over my dead body!" Yami growled at her.

"There's no need to act so angrily!" She reached for his wrist to guide him closer, perhaps even to steer him over to the bed to sit on. He wasn't having it.

"Get off me!" He cried. "I did not give you permission to touch me! Who do you think you are? I am Pharaoh!"

Kaiba dropped the newspaper and stood up, his line of thought being: This guy has a problem.

He whisked forward and gently grabbed Yami, who was plotting escape. Though he barely had the capabilities to walk he was slapping invisible hands away and crashing into things as he headed for the door. Instruments hit the floor and pages from his file leafed through the air like leaves finding a place to rest.

"Okay! Okay!" Dr. Winery was saying above Yami's shouting tirades, "Easy! No more examinations! I'm sorry!"

Kaiba easily quelled the disruptive King in his arms, but Yami seemed to have overblown it. He was shaking, sweating and panting as if he had just finished running a punishing marathon in the summer heat.

"I am sorry," Dr. Winery said again, meaning it. "I didn't realize you'd get quite so stressed."

"Yeah." Kaiba replied for him. "We're working on it, aren't we, runt?"

"Could you sit him on the chair, please? He's not leaving my office like this."

Kaiba sighed. Then he gently got Yami to walk backwards and then helped him sit up on the chair. Wide eyes of amethyst were watching them while sweat trickled down his black hairline. He flinched when she gave him an injection, and then reality seemed to grow fuzzy while his thoughts broke apart like melting butter. His fast breathing became steadier and the voices around him grew thick, and loud.

"Is he under?" Kaiba asked in an impartial voice.

"Yes. The sedative should last him an hour. Don't give him anything to eat or drink until he is well out of its effects. Is he always like this?"

Kaiba shrugged. "It's news to me."

"I am sorry I had to sedate him, but it says on his medical records that stress will only hurt him further."

"I understand. The sleep on the trip home will do the idiot some good."

Dr. Winery went on the computer to add a few things to Yami's medical report.

Yami listened to their conversations with impaired thinking. The world was a soft, placid numbness that he rather enjoyed. Already his heavy perspiration had begun to dry.

Though it was all dull comprehension, like vague dreams, he knew that Kaiba was looking at him with a tight, worried frown. Kaiba? Worried?

Had the duelling stock market lost out on a windfall?

"Well," Dr. Winery turned from the computer to confront the pair, "keep up on the medication and the weight regime. We won't get the MRI results for some time, so don't worry. If the cough keeps getting worse, I suggest you come back here or tell Dr. Sirius and we don't need a sample of his blood presently. In the meantime, please remind Mr. Atem that we doctors are here to help."

"I will do. Thanks again."

Kaiba gave her a brief bow and gathered Yami up from the chair. Yami sagged uselessly against him, boneless and ungainly. In the end Kaiba had to just pick him up and take him in his arms.

Yami could feel the puzzle brush beneath him. It kept giving him nauseating thoughts about doors – dark staircases that had no end, and dusty walls with no room to breathe.

* * *

**Dib07:** So yeah. Terrible huh? Yeah. Terrible. You shouldn't have read this. XD


	2. Adjusting

**Dib07:** This story won the vote. Well, this is awkward. I was hoping 'Life when you are 6 inches Tall' would muscle in as it so frequently does, lol. And then THIS story won. Yeah. I have sweated all day whenever I thought about uploading the next chapter. And yeah, the reason I am harping on about this story is because it does get nasty, but later on. And it is THAT that has my fingers in a twist. So oh god! Here's the next update... :(

SLIGHT warning here: there are hints of puzzleshipping. However for the duration it is one sided. So technically I don't think it is puzzleshipping. I dunno.

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**Warning: **

**For blood, guts, angst, character torture and Dan Green.**

**Contains spoilers for the Yugioh TV show/manga.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Notes:**

Some parts of this story have been co-written by a fellow writer. She is named FairyofThunder22 and can be found on Deviant art. Her parts won't come into play for a very long time, so for the moment you're stuck with me! I'll also be burrowing her OC character(s). Not to worry, it's all good news for you readers! I'll let you all into this OC when the time comes! ;)

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**xxx**

**Chapter One: Adjusting**

**xxx**

~ One month later ~

"Ready?" Joey asked in good spirits.

He stood waiting ever so patiently at the indoor entrance with a cream coloured towel slung over one muscular shoulder. The changing rooms were quiet and serene, so they had the place pretty much to themselves. But beyond the cheap tiled walls and the stench of locker rooms they could hear screaming children cannon-balling into the pool and angry mothers telling them off.

"Yup, we're ready."

Yugi walked on over with the former Pharaoh.

Yami looked as thin as always, and even thinner with his blue trunks on. At first he had been very unwilling to participate in this activity, and had been even more unwilling to change out of his comfortable attire for a day in the pool. After a lot of encouragement Yami complied, but he looked uncomfortable about the whole affair. His eyes skirted here and there and a blush of embarrassment softly coloured his gaunt cheeks. It didn't help that he had so many bones on show either but he did weigh a nice thirty one kilograms, a huge achievement from his sickly twenty three kilograms when he first came to be. The wrinkles around his eyes and mouth however hadn't faded so readily. The trauma he had experienced at the hospital still showed starkly on his face, and often at times he had the semblance of the invalid he used to be. Also, now that he was sparsely dressed, the light scar where the pacemaker resided could clearly be seen.

As Yugi walked beside him, holding his bony hand, he wore the gangly pyramid around his neck. It was a bothersome thing to wear when you were dressed for swimming. It was about as useful as an anchor – a gold anchor. But Yugi wore it faithfully like a Christian would wear a crucifix. Because of what it did. At least, he hoped it did something other than look the part.

All three of them walked into the large indoor swimming area. There were two sections of pool: one for the adults and another for the toddlers. The adult one was eight times the size, with a deep end so deep that the surface was quite literally black. Yami watched it all with a spaced-out look.

Clenching his hand, Yugi led him towards the stepladder. No one was near this section, so Yami didn't feel quite so exposed to the public. Joey however, wasn't as patient. "Watch me, fellas!" He cried, dumping his towel on a bench. Then he charged into a sprint and cannon-balled into the water. A huge, resulting splash eclipsed his implosion and water drenched Yugi and the pharaoh as they stood watching him.

Yami groaned, baring his teeth.

Yugi discerned him worrisomely. He wanted his darker half to relax and have fun. The whole reason they had come out to swim was after all to benefit Yami's health, even if he only knew half the story. Ever since leaving the hospital Yami had been on tender hooks and he hadn't been himself. He was angry, tolerated few questions.

Funny though. As Yami became more stubborn, Yugi was starting to have problems. Of a radical nature. He was starting to have feelings for the pharaoh. Now, he always had feelings. Who wouldn't when they had shared the things they had shared, and gone through so much together? They were inseparable brothers like Kaiba and Mokuba were. So why then was he starting to have other feelings besides friendship?

The thing was, he was afraid that the minute he shared these feelings with Yami, he knew he'd get hurt. Yami obviously had no interest in anything, let alone a relationship that to him would only seem like incest. Besides, Yugi was sure it was just a crush. But a crush that wasn't going away.

"Come on in!" Joey was shouting. "The water's just fine!"

Also were the spell books Ishizu had very kindly sent. Yugi wasn't wholly sure they worked. Yami read them routinely as instructed, but no immediate alleviation came as a result in either Yami's heart rate or breathing. Yugi was beginning to think that it was all just a placebo – like a pill one believed took away pain, when actually it didn't. The brain was just tricked into thinking it did. On the plus side of things, Ishizu had offered to come to Japan just to visit the ailing pharaoh. But this planned visit wouldn't be for awhile yet – as Yugi went to college during the week and Ishizu worked during the weekends. But something would work out.

There was one other thing. Just one.

Yugi and everyone else had kinda kept Yami in the dark about the ultimate truth of his condition. It had been a tough choice – obviously keeping something that important a secret wasn't easy, and the decision of when to tell him hadn't been decided yet.

Joey wasn't too keen on keeping Yami in the dark. Yugi was going to tell him. He just hadn't decided when he was going to tell him.

"That's it. And in you go!" Yugi sat on the poolside while he watched his darker half step down into the water using the sidesteps. His skinny body was veiled by light, shimmering water.

"Ugh, by Ra, it smells terrible. What's more it's very cold."

Yugi laughed gently. "What you can smell is the chlorine! It's a chemical agent that helps keep the pool clean, so try not to swallow any water."

Yami stood chest deep on the shallow end of the adult pool but he went no further. A little way off Joey was doing breast strokes quite gaily.

Yugi slipped down the concrete edge and into the pool to join the former pharaoh.

"Come on, Yami! Swim with me to the other end! We'll race each other if you want!" He already had it in mind to go easy on him, and let him win should Yami find the activity difficult. But Yami didn't even get that far. He shook his head, still looking befuddled and confused. His brow was etched in dark lines: an expression he often adopted when he was concentrating in a duel so much so that he often gave the impression that he was angry. Then, to Yugi's abrupt surprise, Yami turned back towards the steps and hauled himself up and out. His middle was so gaunt that the trunks barely stayed on.

"Mou hitori no boku? Hey, what're you doing?"

Yami didn't answer. He went over to the bench and grabbed his towel before wrapping it around himself. Then he sat stubbornly on the bench without a word.

With mixed feelings, Yugi took off after him and pulled himself out of the water: the puzzle dripping wet. "Yami, don't you like the cold, is that it? Once you're in a little longer, you start to not notice it, honest."

Yami seemed to draw into himself, causing him to appear smaller. "I... I don't like the water. I... I don't think I can swim."

Yugi felt like bashing his head against a brick wall. Of course! Yami was in a brand new body! The biggest source of water he'd ever experienced was the water in the freaking bathtub! Yugi felt so silly for not realizing sooner.

"Gosh, mou hitori no boku, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize!"

"It's all right, Aibou. Can I go home now?" There was something in the way he said it that tugged on Yugi's heart strings. Once upon a time all he wanted to do was see the world and experience the excitement of every adventure beyond the Kame game shop. He wanted to see it all, do it all, and feel all! But ever since his collapse that led to his hospital stay he had become withdrawn and a little depressed. Yugi often wondered if this change in Yami's core was because the doctors had to resuscitate him not once but twice and maybe Yami had lost something then, but he wasn't sure what.

'Yami is an old spirit, and he is a creature of the shadow realm...' Ishizu had said over the phone that day, 'He has been in the other dimension too long I fear. That, and the duels he has had in the shadow realm must have weakened his core also.'

Yugi was still no closer to finding out what she had really meant, but he meant to find out. And he also meant to find out what Dr. Hudson had hinted at when he had said that Yami may have suffered some kind of trauma.

"We've just got here, mou hitori no boku." Was his tender answer. "Why don't we get back in and we splash about? We don't have to go anywhere else." He was worried for him, and only wanted to make his Yami happy.

Yami's frown didn't abate. He shot a gaze in the direction of the door they had come through from the changing rooms. "I find water tedious." Was his tense comeback.

"Okay, how'bout we get you into the toddler pool?"

Yami pulled a face. "The toddler pool?"

Yugi however was serious. "Yes. It's okay, anyone can use it. It's for beginners as well as children, besides, it's warm, not cold like the adult pool. You'll like it."

"Then may we go home?"

Yami wasn't even trying to have fun. Yugi sighed gently. "Yeah. Then we can go home. Come on."

Joey noticed their leave of absence. He tried to shout for them from the pool but they were already moving off in another direction. He was dismayed. The pool was this way!

He started swimming back the way he had come to see what was going on.

The toddler pool was a little busier as it was both smaller and more popular with the little kids and grandparents. But there was room for Yugi and his adopted pharaoh. There was a stepping ladder but the sides weren't nearly so steep so it was easier just to slide in. The whole pool was shallow too – shallower than the shallowest part of the adult pool. One could sit in the water easily without fear of drowning.

Yami anxiously stepped in, first one foot and then the other but his eyes were as large as saucers as if he was stepping into a snake pit. Yugi followed his actions and sat in the pool with Yami. Joey walked on over behind them, leaving a trail of water.

"Hey you two." He said. "What are ya doin' over here?"

"Yami doesn't like the bigger pool." Yugi expressed simply. "He doesn't know how to swim."

Joey blinked. "But... but can't you remember, Yami?"

Yami shook his head.

"Maybe we should put some inflatable rings on your scrawny arms?" Joey offered. "You'll learn quick. I did."

Yugi sought Yami's hand under the water and squeezed. Maybe Yami was afraid of getting too tired in the adult pool, and not finding the strength to keep to the surface?

Some of the littler kids noticed their arrival, and stared. But they didn't stare at Yami. They stared at the strange upside down pyramid complete with chains around Yugi's neck. They were probably thinking how odd it was to wear something like that in a pool of all places.

Suddenly Yami shook Yugi's hand off him, stood and scrambled out of the pool so fast that he slipped and hit his knee on the concrete edge. He didn't cry out, only hurried away as if the pool was on fire. Joey tried to walk after him quickly – he wasn't the brightest knife in the drawer, but he knew it was dangerous to run on a wet floor.

"Yami, hey, ease up, pal! It's okay! If you don't like pools, we'll go somewhere else, okay?"

Yami stood stock-still, his fists at his sides. They were shaking, but at least he had stopped.

Yugi was with them in a moment. "Yami," he said, "it's okay! We'll have a shower and then get changed! It's cool!"

Yami seemed to remember himself. His dark, amethyst eyes almost appeared crimson in the dim light of the swimming area and his trembling fists lost their zeal. "I'm sorry, Yugi."

"There's nothing to apologize for! Come on, let's get dry."

While Yugi and Joey were rinsing themselves off in the hot showers, Yami was back in his changing room getting his clothes back on.

"Man, when he freaks out, he really freaks out." Joey said with a brave smile.

"It's my fault. I shouldn't have kept this all a surprise."

"He keeps throwing us fast balls, doesn't he?" Joey exclaimed with a coy chuckle. He stepped out from under the shower of hot water and grabbed the towel he had left hanging from a steel rail. "I suppose we're still learning, nothin' wrong with that."

"Yeah. Maybe I should just tell him that this whole session was to benefit his health but... I don't have the courage to spill the beans. My Grampa keeps saying, 'what will knowing, do him?'"

Joey rubbed the towel at his straggles of blonde hair. "But ya hafta tell him, one day soon. He can't live the rest of his life being lied to."

"We're not lying to him, Joey! We're just... making things easier for him at the moment. He needs to get a little bit better, and then he'll be ready enough. What has me worried is the MRI. It'll tell us exactly what Yami needs. And what if that answer is surgery?"

XXX

Dressed back in warm, dry clothes, all three walked out of the main doors of the swimming stadium and out into a chilly wind and bright, cheerless sunshine. Yami followed behind with his black cane, a cane he often used more as a twirling pole than a walking aid. He was dressed warmly in a cardigan and a coat and scarf, for being so thin made him submit easily to the low temperatures of winter. He also adorned the red pendant that Joey had bought for him a few months ago. It gleamed in the sunlight, and dazzled onlookers.

He was just behind them when something shiny caught his eye on the road. He limped over and bent to examine it more closely, and discovered that it was a shiny coin. As he bent to pick it up, he did not see the truck coming his way. It had just careered round a corner and was barrelling down towards him. The driver was on his phone, and only some of his attention was on the asphalt.

Yugi turned round to see where Yami was, and horror darkened his visage when he saw the truck coming and Yami's ignorance. He turned to yell or panic, but Joey was faster. He was a man of action.

He ran into the road, and without thinking, he grabbed Yami roughly against him, and threw himself onto the pavement on the other side just as the truck bolted past. He had managed to land to one side, thus shielding Yami from the fall: legs and all. Joey could deal with the bruises and damaged muscles, but he could see Yami breaking something instead. Yami rested: stunned in Joey's grasp as they lay together for a moment on the pavement. Then Joey sat up, ignoring the burning heat in his side from where he had roughly landed.

"Dude! Look both ways!" He cried as Yami remained stricken in shock and dismay. "That truck would've killed ya!"

Yugi rushed over, his face as white as snow. "Jesus!" Tears flooded his vision. "Yami!"

"He's okay! He's okay!" Joey tried to tell him. He made Yami sit up to try and appease the hysterical Yugi. People were starting to stop and stare. Some gathered close by as if morbidly excited at the prospect of a hit-and-run incident. Joey gave them all dark looks as he helped Yami find his feet.

"I... I..." Yugi stammered. "I forgot to give him road safety!"

"So? He should've known! He's been in yor body long enough ta learn, hasn't he?"

"Joey, don't get so angry with him!"

"I don't care! I can yell at him all I want! I don't want him splattered all over the road, do I?" Once Yami was more or less on his feet, Joey pulled him into a fierce hug. "Don't you dare scare me like that again!"

Yami nodded. "I apologize, Joey, I... I should have looked..."

"Damn right you should've."

Once they got across the road safely this time, they climbed into Joey's old Toyota that squeaked and groaned beneath their welcomed weight. Joey shut the driver's door and turned the keys in the ignition. The engine protested and coughed loudly. The cold made it harder to get it to start.

Yami sat in the backseat with Yugi.

"Damn you!" Joey cursed, hitting the steering wheel with an angry fist. It was the typical Joey Reaction when someone wasn't going the way he wanted it to. Yugi was surprised that his duel disk back at home still functioned.

The car growled into stubborn life and they at last pulled out of the car park: the tires scattering the crumpled leaves as they left the swimming stadium behind them. Yami watched it go by from his vigil at the window with the passing look of relief on his face.

XXX

Yugi had to sit back and laugh as the evident frustration on his counterpart mounted to breaking point. They were eating early at five o'clock. It was twilight outside and the feral winter wind was howling like a caged beast. Grampa had served them boiling rice, sushi and spinach for dinner. Yami was having great trouble trying to manipulate his chop sticks. Usually he had used spoons in the past due to living on a 'baby food' diet, but since his weight increase, he had gone on to adult foods thus he had to dine like one. The chop sticks danced spontaneously out of his hand and for a third time that evening they landed on the floor and rolled under the table.

"You'll get used to it with practise," Yugi assured him before Yami could spill out growls and curses, "it's always tough at first."

"Why can't I use a fork and a knife like the Americans on TV?" For Yami had had his fill of commercials and cartoons.

Yugi shook his head and picked up his chop sticks. He moved over to the sink and washed them before bringing them back. "You're a Japanese citizen now, Yami. Using chop sticks is a tradition, and besides, it's actually healthier by using chop sticks. If you use a fork, you'll find yourself shovelling in food much too fast for your stomach to cope. That's how Americans get so fat."

"Fat." He said, as if liking the way it sounded. He went for another try at the chop sticks. His thin fingers grasped them inelegantly as if he was trying to juggle with them. The rest of his food was growing cold, so Yugi picked up a lump of rice with his own chop sticks and offered it for Yami to take. The pharaoh did so obligingly, knowing by now that it was unwise to argue with his Aibou, especially when it came to food. He still had another nine kilograms to put on after all, and that was going to be real tough.

XXX

"Um saka, du ni, sem bek du su."

Yami's chants went on; sometimes haltingly as he reacquainted himself with Ancient Egyptians words he had not had to say in a very long time. He had Ishizu's spell book laid out on his lap while Yugi sat beside him on the bed, watching as he always did. The puzzle sat between them like a solemn weight: a memento to symbolize Yami's frailty. Yami had begun to tolerate it, so long as he never had to touch or wear it. He never really explained his constant dislike of it, but Yugi could only assume it was because the puzzle was the embodiment of his nightmares. The puzzle was all he had ever been, and all the future he could ever have. It was the prison just waiting to snatch him back should his soul falter. So Yugi understood Yami's perplexities.

The book he had laid out on his lap was very old. It was possibly authentic: recovered from a tomb perhaps. It was bound in old horse leather, the pages pure papyrus, but yellow and brittle with age. The hieroglyphs were all studiously done to precision with no mistakes, and no discolouring. As Yami recited what he read, he had to hold a golden scarab in his left hand. This too had been sent via Miss. Ishtar, and the scarab's authenticity seemed to be quite genuine. It was as golden as the puzzle, and just as intricately detailed.

There was one thing that had gone right since Yami had begun these traditions of reading the spells aloud and holding the scarab. He had stopped coughing.

"So, what did that mean?" Yugi asked. "In Japanese?"

Yami rolled his eyes and smiled. "Must I explain it?"

Yugi smiled and nodded fondly.

"It means; 'To I, and to Amun Ra, and to the Great Mother Isis, shall I be reborn in health and spirit. Then shall I begin anew, and leave the path of Apep behind." He paused and looked back down at the book. "It all means that, in a way. These spells usually involve health, or spirit."

"Do you believe it works?"

Yami shrugged. "To be honest, I am unsure, young one. I once did, but now I see there is no magic in your world, and you all get along quite fine without the help of the old gods."

"My mother always had a saying."

"And what's that, Yugi?"

"There may be unicorns and there may be magic, but God only helps those who help themselves."

Yami smiled, and it faded quickly, like all his smiles did. "Yes. I suppose."

"But needless to say, this is magic, and you are Egyptian. If it were not for magic, you wouldn't be here. Nor would Pegasus, or Bakura. You don't need to sleep sitting up anymore. And I think it's because of the puzzle and these spells."

"They cannot mend my body so..."

"Why not? What's happening to you, Yami? Remember? Believe in the heart of the cards and all that? That was you! You always had faith, even when the outcome looked bleak!"

"Yes." Yami returned simply without emotion. He put the scarab down and closed the ancient book. Then, "Aibou?"

"Uh huh?"

"What does my... pacemaker do again? Why must I have it?"

"Didn't the doctor tell you?"

"I... I think so." He frowned as he thought about it. But his confusion only thickened. "Yet... yet I do not seem to remember rightly so."

"Urm... a pacemaker is a really handy device. It regulates your heart beats. If your heart beats too fast or too slow, it sends a signal to readjust it. It doesn't hurt either."

"Oh. Does everyone have them?" His question was what a confused child would ask who didn't know how biology actually worked.

Yugi thought fast to get this hot potato off his hands. He knew that if he answered wrongly, he'd upset the pharaoh and eventually burst out with the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. "No, Yami. Only those who need a little extra help."

"A little extra help?" Dire confusion clouded his pale face again. "If I amend, will they remove it? The pacemaker, I mean to say."

Yugi winced. He really didn't want to be serving back all these fast balls.

No, Yami. It's in you for life.

"Let's get you better first. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it." Nice save. He thought to himself. But he had still told an awful lie. Yami fully mending was doubtful – even with all the help he was having. Ishizu even said that with all the help of the puzzle and spells, it was still like putting a bandage over a wound. He was also beginning to think that the shadow realm had been far more harmful to Yami than he had ever expected. And this was the result.

The night was still in its infancy as the clock dinged nine times, but Yugi tucked him in, leaving the puzzle on the nightstand and putting the books away into a drawer in the desk. The scarab lay beside the puzzle. Yami mumbled a 'goodnight' as Yugi switched the light off. Before he closed the door, he stood in the doorway, reminiscing.

If they had prevented the pharaoh from deteriorating at the very beginning – and stopped the relapses – then maybe he would have been a lot stronger. Maybe all this wouldn't have happened.

And I think I like him too much in the wrong way. He thought with regret.

XXX

"Urm, Grampa? Can I ask you something?" Yugi asked, coming to sit down at the table with a mug of hot tea.

"Hmm? What's up, Yugi? You look worried."

"Does Yami know much about what happened to him at the hospital?"

"Come to think of it, no, not really. I just told him that he was there to get better, and that his ailment of having low blood pressure was being treated with a lot of medicine. He didn't need to know much else; otherwise it would only have confused or worried him. Don't forget that he thinks infections are to be treated with mouldy bread, and that lotus water can cure headaches."

"So, he doesn't know that his heart had stopped during the operation? Don't you think we should tell him now?"

"I understand your concern, my grandson, but what he doesn't know can't hurt him."

"I guess, but..."

"It'll be our little secret, Yugi. I even asked the head doctor not to tell him at the time, and to make it sound less... complicated, but I don't think Yami remembers that either. He was so doped up with drugs that he forgot half the things Dr. Hudson tried to gently explain to him."

But Yugi couldn't help but feel guilty for keeping Yami out of the loop like this. Yami had never been quite right since he got home from the hospital, and Yugi was sure that it had to do with the fact that they had nearly lost him.

"He keeps questioning the pacemaker." Yugi said. "He's smart. He's bound to figure something out..."

"Once he starts duelling again, he'll forget all about it." Solomon replied confidently.

XXX

The very next morning before he left for college, Yugi went up to Yami while he was waking up. The pharaoh was much slower rising than his counterpart, and even after a good, solid rest he still had dark blemishes under his eyes. But when he saw Yugi his eyes brightened and he sat up, pushing back the bed covers.

"Urm... mou hitori no boku..."

"Yes, Aibou?"

"There's something I need to tell you..." He clasped his hands behind his back nervously, and he started to rock back and forth on his heels.

"About what? Have I done something wrong?"

Yugi smiled sadly. "No, not at all! It's about... urm..."

"Jonouchi?" Yami tried again, clearly trying to guess at Yugi's obvious distress.

"Oh? No, no! It's about your... your stay at the hospital..."

He had horrible memories of that past he'd rather bury. Too clearly he saw Yami being cradled in Solomon's arms, and too clearly he remembered the agonizing seizures that gripped him mercilessly as they waited for external help.

"What about it?" Yami didn't look the least bit concerned anymore. That era of his life being stuck in a hospital was over and safely in the past.

"Well, urm..." Yeah, this is hard. "Urm..." I can't do it... I really can't! I feel mean telling him, and I feel mean not telling him. "It's nothing, really!" Talk about evasive action. "I'm glad it's over with!" I just can't say it! What does that make me?

"Me too, Aibou." Yami agreed. "And I would never have got better if it wasn't for you and Grampa. You know how grateful I am." Yami got out of bed and hugged him. On the outside he was a proud, ridged Egyptian/duellist who looked at the world with a stern disposition, but when he held Yugi he melted and became a soft teddy bear. And though Yami's hugs are extra special and endearing, for he was so serious much of the time with that ever-present frown on his face, Yugi felt that he didn't deserve his affections. But then, perhaps Grampa was right after all.

And perhaps it was better seeking a real girlfriend also? And keeping Yami in the dark about his real feelings.

What the pharaoh didn't know couldn't hurt him, right?

...

Right?

* * *

**TBC**


	3. Eyes Open

**Dib07:** This story won the vote. AGAIN. Those panic wheels are turning. Seriously you guys, do you really like this? Why do I put this story on the vote chart? Why Ra, why? Lol I'm going to need counselling. I suppose I need to get in the queue behind Yami. XD The voting system has been reset, so please don't forget to place your votes. :D

SLIGHT warning here: there are hints of puzzleshipping. However for the duration it is one sided. So technically I don't think it is puzzleshipping. I dunno.

Here is a wonderful story written by JennyGranger and you can find it here: s/11040402/1/Therapeutic-Riding which takes place in the Damaged Goods universe! :D

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**Warning: **

**For blood, guts, angst, character torture and Dan Green and A LITTLE BIT OF NUDITY THANKS TO JOEY BEING A PERV. (with a magazine).  
**

**Contains spoilers for the Yugioh TV show/manga.**

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**Notes:**

Some parts of this story have been co-written by a fellow writer. She is named FairyofThunder22 and can be found on Deviant art. Her parts won't come into play for a very long time, so for the moment you're stuck with me! I'll also be burrowing her OC character(s). Not to worry, it's all good news for you readers! I'll let you all into this OC when the time comes! ;)

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**xxx**

**Chapter Two: Eyes Open  
**

**xxx**

"Aww yeah! She looks so hot in that dress! So hot!"

Yami had been resting on the sofa, eyes closed. Now his curiosity tightened as Joey sniggered behind a magazine. Anzu was trying to watch TV.

"Give that thing a rest!" She said when Joey turned a page and got even more excited.

"What is it?" Yami leaned forward a little.

Joey waved the book at him. "The Gentlemen's Guide to Hot Babes! What, you never seen boobs before, Yami? I know Mai can barely keep her cleavage on, but I'm talking about real hot women! You'll love it!"

"You can't turn him into a pervert like you are, Joey."

"Says you." He returned, giving her the eye. Then he threw the magazine at Yami who narrowly caught it before it flew against the wall. He turned to a page, his teeth clenching, eyes blazing with suspicion. He pulled back in horror when he saw a double page spread of a naked woman covered in semen. He closed the book and politely gave it back to Joey, but even so, a single look had burned the image of breasts into his retinas. He didn't even want to look over at Anzu in case he happened to look below her neckline.

With a glint in his eye, Joey gave him a knowing grin. "Pretty cool huh? The ladies get me every time. You on the other hand... you gave it back to me so fast that I can tell you are into... other things shall we say? Men, maybe?"

"Leave him alone, Joey!" Anzu sniped at him.

"Leave him alone, Joey!" The blond mocked back. "Hey, if you're gay, that's cool Yami! I'd go out with you!"

Yami usually had a paraphernalia of words and comebacks, but today he came up empty. It didn't help that he still kept seeing boobs and semen.

Annoyed, he left the chair and walked out the room.

"Now you've done it!" Anzu said, swiping the magazine from Joey's hand. "Now go and apologize!"

"Apologize for what? He's a man, ain't he?"

"Since when has he ever been into this stuff? Have you ever seen him look at a woman that way?"

"That is exactly my point! He needs this stuff to get him normal!"

"You twerp, he is normal!"

Yami lingered at the doorway for a moment longer, listening to them argue. He let out a big sigh. Was he normal?

xxx

"Now let me see here..." Solomon was running his index finger down a long list of names. Beside each name was a phone number and sometimes a web address. He had hunted through the yellow pages to reach the babysitter section. For a run-of-the-mill babysitter he could have always found an ad or two in the local newspaper, but he wanted a professional who was prepared to be hands-on for a long period of time, so teenagers were out. An adult with a wealth of experience would be appropriate, and with a good dose of confidence too.

However, finding an appropriate sitter wasn't going to be easy. Yami was going to be a very demanding invalid even for the more experienced. Kaiba could fill in some days, as he was professionally taught first aid, but he was going on a long business trip soon, and he often had meetings that lasted well into the night.

So far Solomon had crossed off the first three names on his little list. One he couldn't get hold of after calling them four times, and the other two were away on holiday.

The fourth name was a Miss. Riley Smith. He dialled her number and waited to be answered.

Finally a woman's voice answered. "Hello?"

"This is Solomon Motou. I found your name and number in the yellow pages advertising for babysitting. Are you still available?"

There was a pause. Then: "Ah yes, that ad. I had forgotten I was still on the listings for that one."

Solomon raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I'm currently not available right now. Can you make another arrangement... urm... next month?"

"Perhaps I will. Thank you." He put the phone down and scrubbed out that name as well. He needed immediate help and nothing less.

Next was a Sarah Johnson. He dialled up the new number and waited.

A young voice answered his call. "Hi, this is Sarah, who's this?"

"Hello, I'm Solomon Motou. I'm calling for a babysitter. I saw your ad in the yellow pages."

"Oh, did you?" She sounded bright and cheerful, but perhaps a little too young. The last thing Solomon wanted was a young woman looking after a young man, unless Yami was gay. "Well, I am available, fire away! Oh, and just so you know, I don't do very young children or the elderly."

"Urm, it's for my grandson. He's twenty four years old, and he's very capable of doing things, but he's infirm and finds some things a little difficult. My youngest grandson would take care of him, but he has college and I have a business to run, but on the other hand I can't leave him alone either. I was wondering if you would consider taking on this job after a proper interview, of course."

"I'd love to meet my new client." She said, her joy sounding genuine. "But when you say infirm, what does that mean?"

"He has a heart condition, and he's diabetic. Also he's not that great on his feet."

"Poor guy. Well, I'm available this Tuesday evening if that's okay. Then I'll give you my CV and meet him. What's his name?"

"Yami. Yami Motou." He quickly tried to think of anything else he needed to ask her before they said their goodbyes. Then he thought of one: "How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Thirty one. I've been in the business for five years and I have good credentials."

"I am impressed! Yami'll love to meet you! How about seven o'clock on Tuesday evening?"

"Perfect!"

He gave her his address and phone number, and put the phone down. That was one thing accomplished, unless it turned out Yami didn't like her.

xxx

Yami's eyes were riveted on the window as he stood looking out into the front porch from the lounge. He had his arms folded, his composure stiff and king-like, even when he was just a frail thing. The inky shadows under his eyes looked larger than yesterday, and his skin was waxy. But it did not hamper the fire in his eyes. Yugi bemoaned at his immobile figure, using every possible excuse to draw him away from the window. If Joey grabbed him and carried him upstairs, the weak pharaoh would soon be down again to stubbornly resume his vigilance.

He would not leave the window and therefore his view of the Kame shop driveway because he knew who was coming and he wanted to see his imminent doom arrive at the door as if he could better prepare himself for it.

The doctor was coming.

Yami was strung up to the eyes with them it seemed. But this was an agreed home visit – and as routine as they came. Yami had had him before, a doctor going by the name of Dr. Sirius. He was a tall man with dark hair and a kindly, young face. He usually came wearing spectacles and a tie. He was also a practising cardiologist. Needless to say, the last visit didn't go so well, and Yami, though very weak and barely able to walk a month ago, and small in stature besides, had still managed to fight Dr. Sirius off; kind of like how he had fought Dr. Winery off.

With feral, cold winds unfurling after it, the silver car came down the road and turned in, its lights beaming in through the front window and straight into Yami's comprehending eyes.

"There's something you're not telling me, Yugi." He muttered suddenly. "Why else am I inundated with physicians?"

Yugi, who had been dossing with him, perked up when the flashing head beams swerved round, casting deep shadows across the lounge walls. And now Yami had proclaimed his suspicions - suspicions that he must have been brooding on for some time, but hadn't openly suggested them in the possibility of being wrong. Now he had. And Yugi could not stop the rush of guilt heating up his cheeks. But he wasn't ready to tell him anything yet. First he had to find out what had caused Yami's original trauma.

"Follow-up checkups." Yugi replied while Solomon went to open the door. "You know, the ones they organised at the hospital."

Yami's eyes narrowed. "Is low blood pressure really all I have?"

Yugi winced guilty.

"Swear on it Yugi! Is that all I have? Or is there something additional?" His eyes were dark and malignant: like jewels radiating horror. "And my tomb you see fit to wear around your neck? Is it all that crucial?"

Yugi opened his mouth to say something in a rush fuelled by shame when Solomon saved the day. "There you are grandsons!" He said, winking at them. "Dr. Sirius is here!"

Yami and Yugi awkwardly bowed.

Dr. Sirius put down his weighty medical bag and did the same.

When the doctor usually came, Yami became astutely aggressive. His reaction, though truculent, wasn't so much of a problem in his weak state, but he growled more than spoke words, and he sulked more than he co-operated, and his eyes gleamed venomously as if he was daring the doctor into a duel than a medical check-up.

"Please sit down, all of you!" Solomon said with a wan smile. "I'll fix us all some tea!" And off he went.

Dr. Sirius took the offer and sat on one of the large sofa chairs. Yami remained posted by the window, arms folded like a statue. Luckily the poor doctor already knew what Yami was like.

"So, how's the patient been today?" The doctor asked. It was good to see that he wasn't intimidated by Yami. Perhaps the pharaoh's thin statue and small frame had something to do with it, but if the doctor had known of the dark powers that Yami used to practise, he may not have been sitting quite so comfortably.

Yugi had to answer for him, as the King remained glaring.

"He was duelling an old friend in the city near Domino Park," Yugi was saying. He perched himself on the end of an armchair.

"Duelling?" Dr. Sirius asked.

"Yeah. You know, duel monsters? Duel Wars? Well, it's a card game." He concluded when no recognition passed over the man's face. "It got him all worn out and sweaty, and he couldn't breathe."

"I could." Yami imputed defensively at once. "It was just a little stress is all. Really, you are all fussing over me."

His strong, bold voice made Yugi roll his eyes. Sometimes his persona of being Pharaoh only made him more eccentric and twice as stubborn.

"Has this happened before?" The doctor asked curiously.

"Well, no." Replied Yugi, thinking for a moment. "Casual duels he can cope with pretty well. But when he was actually playing to win he kind of lost his cool a little."

"Hmm. Interesting. Well, I suppose I had better get to work. Yami, if you would just grab a stool and sit in the middle of the room please..."

Yugi watched the Game King with wonder. He almost swore he saw a third eye materialize in the centre of his forehead. But then Yami moved and the illusion of light, if it was light, was gone.

Amusingly, Yami did indeed fetch that stool, and sat perched on it like an eagle about to take off. Solomon came in with a tray of drinks and passed them out one by one. Then he sat down and watched.

The doctor approached the scowling pharaoh with a thermometer in his hands. "Open your mouth please, and I'll put this under your tongue. You need to keep it in place for a minute, and you can't speak until then."

Yami tentatively opened his mouth to permit the device.

The doctor got out a notepad and wrote a few things down. Yugi always saw Dr. Sirius bring it out and then secret it away again. He wondered what sort of notes he took.

Dr. Sirius nodded to Yugi who had come to stand supportively by his darker half. "Has he been taking all of his medicine daily as we discussed?"

Yugi nodded. "Yup. I've made sure. He hasn't missed a single dose."

The doctor got out the stethoscope and rested it around his neck. Yami's eyes darkened at the sight of it.

He removed the thermometer. "Temperature is a little high, but it's still in the norm." He slipped the device away and busied his hands with the notebook. "Any dizziness at all?"

Yami shrugged vaguely. "A little."

He wrote this down. "Chest pain?"

"None."

He nodded. "Okay. Do you feel tired sometimes?"

"Yes, especially towards evening."

"And has your heartbeat felt irregular at all?"

Yami looked at him in confusion.

"Have you noticed it skipping beats?"

The pharaoh slowly nodded, then shook his head as if he had changed his mind.

"How regularly do these occur, Mr. Atem?"

Yami drew in a tight breath and glanced feebly around as if he was looking for inspiration. His eyes kept avoiding the doctor's acute gaze. "I don't have any."

Yugi looked disconcerted. Was Yami lying? He felt completely out of the loop. Solomon too looked a little disgruntled as if Yami had passed up a grave confession.

Yami stared down at the carpet with a furious frown on his face, feeling scrutinized and dissected.

Dr. Sirius said with a shadow of dissatisfaction. "Have you been eating regularly?"

"Yes. Of course." Yami struggled to keep his voice under control. More than anything he wanted to disappear into the millennium puzzle. When he was a spirit he could hide whenever he wanted, and close his door against even Yugi's eyes. But now he was fully exposed and vulnerable, and he hated it.

"We tried to take him swimming," Yugi added on a more optimistic note, "but it turned out he didn't like water."

"I'd just stick to gentle exercise then. Mr. Atem," he said, looking at the sullen Pharaoh, "are you still using the cane to get about?"

"Sometimes, yes."

"All right then." Now came Yami's most feared moment. The doctor slid the stethoscope off his shoulders. "I'd like you to unbutton your jacket and lift up your shirt so that I can have a listen."

"No. Thank you." The pharaoh said quite eloquently for someone who was trembling with apprehension or anger.

"And why's that?" Dr. Sirius asked patiently. "Look, Atem, we argue about this every time. The quicker we can do this, the faster it can be over."

Even though Yami remained sitting on the stool, he saw himself being slowly driven into a corner. So he retaliated with a cool, calm question to put the ball back in the doctor's court. "Perhaps you would care to explain to me why listening to my chest is so important?"

Dr. Sirius looked at him carefully as if not trusting his patient's expression. "Didn't Dr. Hudson go over this with you back at the hospital?"

Yugi saw the situation and could do nothing. His carefully plotted course for Yami was fraying simultaneously as if a fire were raging at the fibres. He didn't want Yami to find out so soon – it was too soon! Yet how did he ever think he could keep him in the dark for this long?

Yami regarded him with sharp, lethal curiosity and darkening dismay. "Go over with me what?"

The physician appeared mortified. "Well..."

Feeling a deep, cold void open up somewhere in his stomach, Yugi numbly approached the man and spoke words he didn't feel himself saying. "Can I talk to him? In private please?"

Sirius hesitated, his priorities splitting apart. He looked to Yugi as a form of anchor, and nodded.

Solomon, jumping to the occasion, came over and nudged the doctor towards the kitchen. "Let's have something stronger to drink, eh? And perhaps something to eat? Come, come! You'll just love my chocolate truffles!" Dr. Sirius was still trying to resist, then gave in altogether and more or less let Solomon push him into the next room.

Yugi felt alien to himself, and alien to his own inner voice. He felt surreal when he turned to face his other half and he almost couldn't look into Yami's searching eyes.

"Mou hitori no boku..."

"Yugi, what is the meaning of this?" The dark, stiff opposition he had shown before the doctor had now all gone. His words were soft, as they always were whenever he spoke to Yugi. It was almost as if, no matter how angry he got, or how surprised, he never failed to forget his manners before his light.

A seat of cold sadness sprinkled the warmth in Yugi's eyes. "There's something I've got to tell you..."

While Yami was trying to guess his intentions, Yugi stood frozen on a spot of carpet, crippled by inconsolable guilt, hesitation and remorse.

"Please," Yami began gently, timidly almost, "tell me."

The stricken plea of his words honoured Yugi's final decision.

He would tell him. Even if by doing so he would earn Yami's hatred. And he doubted Yami would take the news very well. So far he'd managed to cope with his own body, and his mentality was improving along with it, but when he had been at the swimming pool he had shown signs of furtiveness and fear – a feature he very rarely showed. What if his confession ruined him? And made him return to a corner of his brain where he used to be psychotic or reclusive? Three thousand years of being trapped in darkness had not been cured overnight by any means, and though Yami had done exceedingly well over the years as a spirit in both valour and emotion, there was nothing to prove that he had completely recovered.

Yugi was wringing his hands. Yami remained perched on the end of the stool, as patient as could be for his protégé to come up with the right words.

"You see..." His shred of confidence that he had felt moments before was wilting and he could not grasp it back again. Yugi approached the King of Games, knelt down before him like an acolyte seeking forgiveness, and took Yami's hands in his. "There's something the others know about... and you don't."

"Excuse me?"

Yugi struggled to keep his voice from shaking. This was not him – he avoided confrontations when he could, and he didn't imagine himself confessing to a lie: a lie he knew he could not keep forever, yet he had tried to anyway.

"You see... you never really recovered from your stay at the hospital." He kept his eyes on Yami's red pendant: the one Joey had bought him a short while ago in a rare display of affection. It hung from his neck and shimmered: catching the light of the room. Its sparkling effect did not console him however.

"I... I don't understand." Yami croaked, his eyes narrowing, thus accentuating the wrinkles on his face.

Yugi refused to meet those eyes. Those eyes that would only further convict the guilt that was driving him mad. He was too ashamed to see what was there.

"They had to resuscitate you. They had to bring you back to life not once but twice. It's what happens to people whose hearts stop. They need external help, otherwise they... they die. That's why you have that pacemaker inside you." Yami's hands were limp in his grasp. "You're... you're..."

Yami's tapered vista bubbled into confused panic. "Explain yourself, Aibou!" His words weren't supposed to sound so deliberate and ireful, but they came out more like barks of command than inquisition.

Yugi flinched as if the pharaoh had put a knife against his throat. He raised one hand and placed his palm over Yami's thin chest, over his heart. "You're not well, in here."

"Nonsense! I am perfectly fine!" Yami battered Yugi's hand away as if the touch had burned him, and he slipped off the stool but Yugi continued to kneel. "Look at me!" He barked. Yugi, chewing his bottom lip, did so, reluctantly. He was challenged by steely eyes of crimson. "Why are you telling me all this now? What in Ra has possessed you?"

"I wanted to protect you!" A tender teardrop burned his vision and a thick lump formed bitterly in his throat. "I didn't want you to know! It was foolish I know, and stupid! I just wanted you to be... to be happy! I didn't want this! I didn't want you to have limitations!"

"And what limits do I have? Tell me, Aibou!" Now he sounded downright angry. The soft lease of voice had gone.

"Goddamn it, Yami! Don't you understand?" Silver tears dropped down his cheeks when he blinked up at him, gazing into his eyes for the first time. "It's your heart! Either you damaged it in the past or... or there were complications! We didn't want tell you! We thought the truth would hurt you too much! We all wanted to protect you, and I'm sorry!"

Yami at first stood there, staring at his open hands. "Even Jonouchi..." The dazed Pharaoh murmured, "...lied to me..." He suddenly looked drained - sapped, as if some indispensable allegiance or fortitude had been bled from his bones.

"Out of all of us, he wanted to tell you the most! But he didn't know where to start! It was so hard on him!"

"How'd I get this way? How?" He shouted, using the full force of his commanding voice. He truly sounded like the reincarnated king he really was. But he was now deviating between anger, resentment, fear and horror. His emotions were livid in his eyes, and his little body seemed taller, as if he had grown suddenly in the rhapsody of his rage. It elicited the true duellist he used to be before this illness overwhelmed him and chiselled him down bit by bit.

"The doctors aren't sure! Dr. Hudson is trying to find that out! They thought at first it was because of your blood pressure, but it's deeper than that! We think you've had it since when you were a spirit!"

"How so, when I didn't have a body then?"

Yugi slowly drew to his feet and rose to meet Yami's anger. "I don't know! Maybe it was more than that! Don't forget that the body you made for yourself came out of those same energies you used and existed with as a spirit! Everything you had, you scrapped together and something bad went in! Arguing about it won't make it any easier! But we'll get through this, together!"

"Is there a chance this body can get better?"

Yugi froze, the word on his lips. But saying it would be like firing the last bullet into Yami's bleeding soul. And he couldn't do it.

Yami might have already seen the bleak unsaid answer in Yugi's eyes.

The King stood there, and opened his mouth to speak. Then he closed it indecisively. Then opened it again. It was clear to Yugi that Yami just didn't know what else to say, even though he clearly wanted to rage about something. But the finality of it; the hard stroke of misfortune, shattered Yami's convictions one after the other. Yami's wrinkles stood pronounced on his countenance. His fists were shaking by his sides. He looked ready to explode or scream.

Finally, after what seemed to be a long time, Yami hung his head and said in a low, dangerous voice: "What hurts me the most is that every one of you kept this from me. I thought you supported me as I supported you. I trusted you, as you trusted me. Now how can I ever trust you or anyone else again?"

"Yami, listen, I..."

"Save it, Yugi. What's done is done." He sounded hurt. Betrayed. And he had a right to be.

"But Yami...! Please! I'm so sorry! That's why I always had the puzzle close to you! I spoke to Ishizu and she was the reason you read those spells every night, and that I wear the puzzle! We're all praying for you!"

Yami looked away, his eyes icy and hard: his lips buttoned tight. Then he moved solidly to the door like an automation and opened it.

Yugi blinked back a moment of tears. "Mou hitori no boku! Forgive me!"

Dr. Sirius and their Grampa were in the kitchen, discussing something over their mugs and having little knowledge with the circumstances that had just unfolded in the room next door.

Yugi followed the Game King into the kitchen looking as though he had been stunned with an electrical prod.

"I demand that you leave!" Yami admonished, looking quite sinister as he stood proud in the doorway. The light glimmered off his eyes, making them shine.

Dr. Sirius put his drink down and gave Yami a confused frown. "I cannot leave until I have examined you. All I ask is that you sit down. If you continue to make my job difficult, then I will have to contact the hospital and you'd have to go there for any future checkups."

"Well that's fine!" Yami shouted back, not paying any attention to Yugi who was pulling on his sleeve and his Grampa who was looking at him with dawning anger and incomprehension. "I don't need you or anyone else! Now return immediately to whence you came before I send you to the shadow realm!"

The doctor looked quite insulted, but anger didn't shadow his eyes. Only confusion. "All right, Atem. But you're condition is too serious to be ignored like this."

"Then that is my choice to make!"

"Yami!" Yugi admonished sharply, putting aside his guilt. "Don't do this!" Please!

"It's done." He replied coldly.

The doctor gave Yami a heartfelt look. "I'll go." He said, "But as your doctor I will say this; you aren't to duel anymore. I want you to perform activities that reduce stress, not enhance them. Understand?"

Yami stood with his hands on his hips: a true shadow of the Pharaoh he once was. His eyes spoke reams, as did his body language. He didn't need to utter another word to get his point across.

Dr. Sirius gave them a brief bow, then he walked through the kitchen and into the hallway where upon he grabbed his coat and let himself out. There was an instance of wind as it caught the tail ends of his coat, and then he had shut the door and silence weighed heavily upon the three like clinging metal.

Solomon was the first to break his silence. "Yami, what is the meaning of this?"

Yami was about to rage out a variety of carefully thought-out responses when he suddenly thought of the hospital and of Dr. Hudson's clinically clean hands and the menacing beeps of the ECG. Yugi's explanation of his sickness fell on him like abnormal gravity and he stumbled away, now wanting refuge and not companionship. To be alone was his cradle of sanity, his protection. But the puzzle could no longer hide him. And there was no lee of stone to hide behind.

Yami turned and headed for the stairs. His destination was the bathroom: a place where he had sought refuge in before, and the room which led to his eventual hospital stay. He did not know this. He had forgotten some time ago.

He hadn't even reached the first step when he realized he was breathing too fast. Sweat, cold and thick, swam down his temples like water while his legs turned into insubstantial twigs. He more or less fell than sat down when greedy gravity tugged him roughly. And the floor was all he could really feel – really see. It was more real than the voices trying to shore him back up, and it was more real than the hands coming to touch him.

He bent down towards the rug, sweat glancing down his shimmering bangs. Everything else was faded and opaque – like something whispered in a vaguely remembered dream.

What he did find was concrete terror as it rose and savaged his mind.

I'm going to die.

He thought vaguely amongst his other swarming horrors.

I'm not a spirit this time. Dying will be terrible...

"Yami, Yami LOOK at me!"

He didn't care. They couldn't help him. No one could. Loneliness was a terrible fate, and it was happening to him again. There were no empty rooms to save him. Only madness. And suffering.

For a time he was blind, deaf and numb to all that went on around him. He lay in a semi-sitting position, cradled by a figure, and blankets swathed over him with a pillow or two beneath his feet. His hyperventilated breathing whooshed in and out of his lungs so fast that his own chest began to burn with the effort while his eyes stared sightlessly ahead, but they were dull with fever, and there was no recognition behind them.

* * *

**Dib07: **If you review, please be kind, and have mercy! (And I am REALLY glad I am not Yugi right now).**  
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